I came to the realization that I haven't posted on my blog in a while and that despite the weather being exceptionally nice today, I did not go outside - two things I regret very much. However, I must not dwell and instead I'm going to talk about something I feel is very exciting.

We all have our own interests and some people will just never understand the things that make our own hearts flutter. That is life and the whole point of 'inspiring' and 'sharing' is to show people why they do as such to oneself. In other words, today I wanted to tell you guys about a topic that makes my heart flutter.

FILM MAKING.
As a number of you are aware, I have become very fond of the idea of going into production of film and TV. It is something I am really passionate about and would love to pursue in the future. In September, I will need to start looking around for the courses I am interested in for post 16 education surrounding the subject (I feel it is important to study the things you love).

I recently created a short film called 'Stored Away', in which I simply just mess around in my loft for a few hours and hope that the power of my editing skills and trusty Heinz Ketchup, give a good show. I honesty had a lot of laughs with myself whilst making this (call me mad I don't care). All in all, my message for today is to just go for it. If, in a couple of years I look back at this and think, 'What the hell was 15 year old Anna thinking, this is shocking!?!', at least I can then think that it was a starting point to many a better video.

Yesterday, I celebrated 15 years since I rode the coolest slip and slide. The year has gone so quickly, so much has happened and I have grown into a new person. I remember thinking that the year would never end. I had such a good day on the beach. I'm grateful that God has given me another year.

This is why I hate the phrase 'goals':

It is currently 10:31pm and I'm sitting on my window sill, staring into the world outside. It is a humid summer night - the ones I love the most.

I love the nights for two reasons...

1) It's still quite warm and I can happily open my window and stare out into the painted night sky, without having to worry about my nose falling off because of the cold.

2) I am alone with my thoughts.

I sit and think about a number of things. The future, the present and how I would like things to be. It is to do with myself, my own desires and dreams and the reality of it being extremely hard to get there.

For ages, I liked the idea that loads of people would read my blog and watch my youtube videos and I would travel and take amazing photos and make amazing movies and life would be good. I don't want that anymore.

I would like life to give me what I am meant to have. I would lik-

That was weird...
Three men just walked past my house and saw me in my window.
One said, 'why is that girl up in her window?', suggesting I am crazy.
Another asked, 'How did you notice that?'.

I didn't turn my head.

You know what is crazy... it's crazy that I am here, on my blog, just about to tell you guys how I am feeling and then I hear someone questioning what I was doing.

I don't understand. I mean isn't it odd that we just say what we see. That guy could have just kept the sight of me to himself, but he didn't. He had to express how odd I looked. Well maybe, I am odd. Maybe I live in a fantasy land that people link to tumblr. Maybe, I am being the weirdo of the school who stays up late and talks to herself. BUT, maybe because this is something I love to do and would love to share with someone who loves me, I am not odd.

It may sound cheesy and over the top, but honestly, I cannot wait for the day when I know someone loves me back just the way I love them. I give up trying to be a person I am not. I may sound mysterious but am I really? I feel like people just don't know me.

'We live in a world of people pretending to be something they are not.'

It is that simple.

I crave for someone I can be down to earth with and love.
No one knows who I truly am, that's because I have only just found out who I am myself.

I am happy that individual pointed me out from the darkness.

Tonight, is where the ball game changes.
'Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.'

Have an amazing day... weither you are sitting at your window at 4 minutes to 11... and never be afraid of being who you are.

Anna xx

Two weeks ago today, I had the honour of watching 5sos play live at Wembley Arena - one of the best nights of my life. I went with one of my best mates, Rhianna and we had a blast!

Long time no talk.

On wednesday, I received the news that I would get 25% extra time in my school examinations, due to the fact that I have dyslexia.

As I mentioned this to a few of my mates, a number of them expressed such thoughts as, 'What? but I swear you are good at English' or, 'That is so cool! Do you think I could try and fake being dyslexic so I can get extra time' and 'So you can't read?' These points being annoying to some extent. There is a stereotype that dyslexia is cupped under - that is 'people who are illiterate', which is not true at all. Yes, it can effect English (reading and writing) or Maths (numbers etc) however there are many other things that can contribute to it.

Dyslexia is not a 'problem' nor does it mean you are different from anyone else. It simply means you think in a different way to others. I have been always been told that I am 'different' or 'weird' but that has nothing to do with dyslexia - something some people found themselves making links to.

Being dyslexic doesn't make you dumb.
Being dyslexic doesn't mean you cannot read.

I will embrace it and push forward in what I love to do - which is write. Another point I wish to make is that you don't 'suffer' from dyslexia. It shouldn't be a struggle. Yes, you can find certain things difficult yet that doesn't mean you 'suffer'. No matter how odd it will be, to not be with the rest of my year group when taking exams, it is very beneficial to me.

There has always been this saying, that our mission in life is to 'find yourself'. The idea that you are alive and creating carbon dioxide, in order to die knowing who you are.

I honestly think that is a load of rubbish.
How can you 'find yourself' when you have no idea where to start looking? It's like expecting someone to know where they are going in a foreign city, that they have never been too.

I have decided there is a much simpler why of tackling the humongous question that seems to constantly line the front of each individuals mind: what is the purpose of life?

Well, today I propose this: we are here to create ourselves.

To live a life that we have always imagined. It will be hard with challenges being thrown at us from each direction. However, there is always one thing to remember - God has your back. He is pushing you down paths that you may not like the look of, but that won't stop him. God is working in your life right now, in ways you cannot understand.

The idea is that you create yourself. You make the person you want to be and be it. That does not mean acting up nor dropping the people that mean the most to you. It simply means that if you wish to do something, you do it and if  you don't, you don't. People say that sometimes you 'do not have a choice' however, I don't agree with this. You do not have to do anything you do not wish to do. If you set your mind to something - it is able to be done.

No matter how big or small a goal is, you are able to do it with the right frame of mind. There is no point trying to 'find yourself' in the maze that is the world we live in.

Hence why, you...