Overall I don't think my blog reflects me as a person as much as I wish it did. Now because of this I wanted to share with you lovely people some of the things I love and fear in life. 

I have a love for a number of things and yesterday I came to the conclusion that some of them are starting to get unhealthy. Just like 5sos -  I mean I stay up every night and have Amnesia on repeat because honestly that song represents everything I think about (well I haven't ever been wasted, snogged someone or been so close with a boy that I feel like that so yeahh - It's just a good song). Without hot bands ruining my entire life I also have smokin' hot YouTubers, Imagines on Tumblr and Family Guy. All things that I shouldn't be watching/reading in the early hours of the morning. As I mentioned this to my friend yesterday she simply told me that I'm a fan girl and didn't want to know their life stories. Which is actually 79% true. I never think of myself as a screaming fan girl tho but I just love listening to their music and fantasize about how I want Luke to be my boyfriend. 

I also have spent nearly all of this weekend on my laptop stuck in my room - like I do nearly every day after school and that's where the fears come in. Yes, 5sos, pizza, sleepling, Family Guy and the internet are all fun and games however every day I do think to myself that none of these things will do me good if I don't get the grades that I need at the end of Year 11. What if I don't get the grades that I need? How will 5sos help me then (of course I will still be listening to their songs on repeat as I cry about my bad results)? That's the problem I have. I have no idea where I see myself in 10 years time. Not even that in less than 2 years time when I'm thinking of where I want to study for the next two years after that. Is blogging what I want to do in the future or is that really stupid of me to be thinking all these things now. 

I fear that I won't live up to my own expectations of things. Like yeah okkay I've given up on Luke becoming my boyfriend or Ashton taking me away on holiday because they are just not going to happen, 

but do I want to go to uni 

or take a gap year 

or travel,

will I find 'the one' everyone is telling me about,

am I a fail,

did my hair look nice today,

can I have a pet elephant,

how did Zac Efron get so hot,

will puberty help me out and change my face

 ?

"I wish I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things"

 All these questions spring into my head at 2:30 in the morning. 

I have no clue what so ever.

This also links to my idea that kids around my age (12,13,14) are expected to behave and think like young adults yet we are treated like children. If my head of year is telling me that I need to start looking around 6th forms, collages and universities yet they won't trust me to go to the loo in the middle of class how is that meant to make us feel. The fact that now children grow up so quickly with the world around us its hard not to want to break free from what everyone is telling you to do. 

Wow that is like my life in a post.

No but seriously I don't know where I'm going in life however I know that whatever happens God has a plan for me so yeah I hope it's not too bad. Hahah but yeah like I said in a pevious post, You can do whatever you want to do in life and that you need to Keep Running and Don't Stop. If you haven't read those posts make sure you check them out cus it makes meh happy when you do. 

But lets just embrace how hot the boys are...