Today has been one of the worst I have had in a while, with numerous things making my day all round hell. Without reminding myself of these things and telling you (trust me I have ranted enough today as it is), I wanted to write about it. Writing is something that, one, I am not the most talented at yet, two, makes me feel better. Being able to scribble or in this sense type things out, makes it easier for me to clear my head. 

The day started at roughly 6.30... I have no idea why I was awake at this time but hey what can I do? I burn my hand on curlers and then make my way to school. Within 10mins of sitting down in tutor time I get a 1hr detention (which to be fair I understand) however, I then had teachers on my back for the rest of the day.  Have you ever gotten so angry and upset you cry/tear up whenever someone asks if you are alright... yep well that was me today.

Despite all these things, I can still say I had a good day.

‘It will never be my day’ - recently, I have said this a lot. Now I want to stress that, no matter how bad your day seems to be, there are always positives. You have to take negatives to create a beautiful picture (nerdy photographer talk). 

One reason for having a good day was... I got through it. I managed to get through that terrible day. I had to physically restrain myself from running home, cuddling up and eating chocolate for the rest of the day but I did it. Second, I have seen the people around me react to this odd side of Anna that they never normally see.  One person in particular, Miss Emily Jenkins (I see you reading). These people have shown to me how truly amazing they are. Lastly, I will keep learning. Maybe one day soon, it will be my day *laughs forever* or maybe there is a reason why my day has been so bad. I can look back at this day, compare it to other days and say, ‘wow I am having a good day compared to the 14th’.

Thank you for all being amazing.

How was your day?

I hope it was better than mine.

What do you want to be in the future?

It is inhumanly impossible to recollect how many times I have been asked this question and each time I give the same answer. At one stage in our lives we have all been asked this question. More often than not, it will be asked by your Head of Year, Parents, Teachers and peers. Each time they will get the same answer from me. A simple ‘I don’t know’ and I shall tell you for why…

The idea children younger than 10 years old, are being asked what they want to be in the future baffles me. It, however, is nice to hear the crazy imaginations of young kids but it all gets a little more serious as you start taking exams in high school. The horrid thought that you are not going to get anywhere in life due to the fact that you failed one of your exams - makes me so angry. The fact that teachers are telling you that you must decide where you see yourself in 10 years in order to build a ‘good school education’. Despite only being 14, I have even started looking at sixth forms and collages that I might apply for when I’m 16. Not only that, on a number of occasions, I have been asked if I want to go to university. These thoughts make my brain freeze.

It feels like yesterday that I was running round a playground playing ‘it’ and deciding whether to watch Horrid Henry or ScoobyDoo when I go home. It’s simple. I am getting older. This is a hard idea to come to terms with. Moreover, the about of times I have heard adults say that ‘us kids’ are growing up too fast. Maybe they need to take a step back and realize that times have changed. I am no longer safe to go on adventures in forests, play footie in the middle of the road or make friends with random people in the streets. Times have changed. Or so we think. Maybe times haven’t actually changed.

I am still living back in Victorian times where, I am made to seclude myself from people to study and take exams yet the majority of my future working life will be spent working collaboratively with others. Logical thinking is completely thrown out the window in my view. I believe exams are stupid. Dumb in fact. No one should be judged at how smart they are by seeing how many facts can be jammed into their heads. No one should feel the immense feeling of failure at such a young age.

TO BE CONTINUED…