Whilst having a casual chat with my friend the other day, he asked 'You taking YouTube seriously or as like for fun?' :

YouTube and Blogging is something I have grown to really love. I feel like I have started a little community. However, there is this automatic doubt that I seem to have constantly revolving inside my head. The idea that people at school think that I do it for attention and that others think I take myself too seriously. At the end of the day, this is something I love to do. Certainly not something I do not do for attention at school

Photography, film making and writing are my favorite things to do. I would love to one day, be able to say to someone, that these hobbies of mine have shaped my future. That is one of my ultimate dreams. Something that I think people don't understand. After posting on instagram a couple of days ago with a long personal(ish) caption...:

Here was were it hit me. Everyone has their own ambitions, some harder to achieve than others but all equally as meaningful to oneself. My ambitions will be different from yours, just how yours will be different from mine. That is the beauty of it, we all have the abitily to do whatever we want. At the end of the day your own dive will get you way further than any sports car. It may sound cheesey but there is a world out there to be found, messages to be spread and laughter to be heard. I aspire to inspire.

...I was told that it was odd and asked 'How are YOU going to inspire anyone?'.

Honestly, I haven't worked that out. Maybe I think that the things I post will help people or at least make them smile.

Here's the thing, I have never been so certain of something, yet so doubtful of it. Does that make scene? I don't see myself being the next big YouTuber like Zoella (as honestly her videos don't appeal to me as much anymore), however, I would love to build this community to a certain degree.

Not many people read my blog or watch my YouTube videos and over the last year, I have been wondering why (this is not a sob story I promise). I believe it is because I was always uncertain if what I am doing will appeal to everyone.

I have now told myself, that not EVERYONE in the world will like what I'm doing. People will thumbs down my videos and I will get nasty comments, yet that is the risk I am going to take. People will only start to agree/enjoy the things you are doing, when they see how much you are putting into it and what positive effect it is having on you.

What I'm saying is that everyone who reads my blog means the world to me. I doubt myself way to much to have a good time and I need to change that. If you dislike what I'm doing then just excuse yourself from our private party.

I do what to take YouTube seriously, to the point where I am having fun whilst pursuing my dream.

Cheers to an amazing year. Lets have a blast in the next!

What are your New Years resolutions?