'Why Is That Girl Up In Her Window?'


It is currently 10:31pm and I'm sitting on my window sill, staring into the world outside. It is a humid summer night - the ones I love the most.

I love the nights for two reasons...

1) It's still quite warm and I can happily open my window and stare out into the painted night sky, without having to worry about my nose falling off because of the cold.

2) I am alone with my thoughts.

I sit and think about a number of things. The future, the present and how I would like things to be. It is to do with myself, my own desires and dreams and the reality of it being extremely hard to get there.

For ages, I liked the idea that loads of people would read my blog and watch my youtube videos and I would travel and take amazing photos and make amazing movies and life would be good. I don't want that anymore.

I would like life to give me what I am meant to have. I would lik-

That was weird...
Three men just walked past my house and saw me in my window.
One said, 'why is that girl up in her window?', suggesting I am crazy.
Another asked, 'How did you notice that?'.

I didn't turn my head.

You know what is crazy... it's crazy that I am here, on my blog, just about to tell you guys how I am feeling and then I hear someone questioning what I was doing.

I don't understand. I mean isn't it odd that we just say what we see. That guy could have just kept the sight of me to himself, but he didn't. He had to express how odd I looked. Well maybe, I am odd. Maybe I live in a fantasy land that people link to tumblr. Maybe, I am being the weirdo of the school who stays up late and talks to herself. BUT, maybe because this is something I love to do and would love to share with someone who loves me, I am not odd.

It may sound cheesy and over the top, but honestly, I cannot wait for the day when I know someone loves me back just the way I love them. I give up trying to be a person I am not. I may sound mysterious but am I really? I feel like people just don't know me.

'We live in a world of people pretending to be something they are not.'

It is that simple.

I crave for someone I can be down to earth with and love.
No one knows who I truly am, that's because I have only just found out who I am myself.

I am happy that individual pointed me out from the darkness.

Tonight, is where the ball game changes.
'Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.'

Have an amazing day... weither you are sitting at your window at 4 minutes to 11... and never be afraid of being who you are.

Anna xx

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